A VERY Hard Week

It’s been a very hard week indeed!  This past week I lost my mom.  For years she’d been fighting a very brave battle with that horrible disease we call cancer and finally couldn’t fight it any longer.  For her, this entire year has been agonizing.  While I am grateful that she is free of her suffering, I miss her terribly.

In addition to this being a very hard week, today is the two month anniversary of my dad’s passing.  I guess you could say my family has had a doozy of a year and we’ve only seen the first quarter go by.

I believe I got my love of dolls from my mom.  From a very early age I have the sweetest memories of my dolls; I think they were linked to so many happy times shared with my mom who was usually so busy keeping house, cooking, and taking care of a large family.  My mom gave me my first Barbie doll when I was three years old and she must have spent countless hours making clothes for my doll because she made all of my Barbie doll’s clothing and I had a lot!  I specifically remember waking up one morning and seeing my doll modeling a beautiful new dress made from one of her old dresses.  I remember the day she handed me a new Midge doll for no reason.  And, I remember wanting a Crissy doll so badly when they were brand new.  I got one for Christmas that year and an entire wardrobe for her made by my mom.  So, yes, when I think of dolls those memories that include my mom are at the forefront.

My mom was my first sewing teacher, and was very good at it even though it wasn’t her passion.  I believe I was only 7 when she entrusted me to run her sewing machine.  I have no idea what I managed to make at that age, but it started my love of the craft and probably became my very first activity that I was passionate about.

feeding brian 1968 003

It was so hard finding a photo with my mom and I from years ago; she was alway so busy.  My uncle (her brother) caught her here with me giving his new son a bottle.

And, here’s a photo from not that long ago when she shared my happy day with me.  This photo seems like it was taken yesterday and she was younger than I am now.  Oh my goodness, how the years fly by…!!!

me mom wedding day 765

I love you Mom!!!  I’ll miss you every day!

 

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55 thoughts on “A VERY Hard Week

  1. Becky

    I am so sorry for your loss, Cindy. You’ve had a lot of emotional trauma recently. Your dolls and their outfits that you create are so sweet and serene….they must reflect your nature. I trust you will treat yourself in those ways too…with peace and serenity in these upcoming days. Loss takes a toll. You’ll be in my prayers.

    Take care.

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      What nice things to say, Becky, thank you. I’ve never thought about how loss affects us long term, but it does, doesn’t it? This reminds me of the saying, “Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”. I will remember to go easy on myself while mourning the loss of my mom, thank you.

      Reply
  2. Diana McNeilly

    OH Cindy, I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom died when I was 30 and I also know my love of dolls started with the quality ones she chose to give to me. You will always carry this influence with you and as we admire your works and talent, we can also,now think of her as well. Hang in there as this next year of firsts…”without your Mom”, can be painful. God be with you.

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      I am so sorry you lost your mom so young, Diana. That must have been so, so hard for you. It sounds like you have sweet dolly memories that are attached to your mom too.

      Thank you for your condolences and well wishes on the loss of my mom, they mean a lot.

      Reply
  3. Sonia

    Cindy, I am thinking of you in your most difficult time. Your photos, of you and your Mom, are so beautiful!

    Reply
  4. Catherine

    I think very hard on you in these painful moments.
    Your only consolation is that your mom is no longer suffering.
    She is always close to you and will always accompany you.
    I wish you a lot of courage.

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      Thank you for your condolences and wishes for courage during this difficult time, Catherine. I always look forward to your continued support and sweet comments all the way from France.

      Reply
  5. Mary

    Cindy,
    As I sit here and reflect on the loss of my own Mother, words can not express what I feel in my heart for what you are feeling right now. If you need a listening ear, I am here!!!! I pray that the Lord will comfort you and give you strength in the days to come.
    Sincerely,
    Mary ❤️

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      Thank you so much, Mary, for your support. I am sorry for the loss of your mother. These are hard times, aren’t they? It helps to know that there are others who share these feelings of grief with us.

      Reply
  6. Wendi

    “Death is not the end,
    Death can never be the end

    Death is the road,
    Life is the traveller,
    The Soul is the guide.” – Sri Chinmoy

    Thinking of you today Cindy.

    Reply
  7. Cathy Warren

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mother’s death, Cindy. What a difficult year you’ve had! My thoughts are with you.

    Reply
  8. Joy

    The photo of you, mom, & cousin is so special. Thank you for sharing those wonderful memories of your mother. Makes me reflect back on my own mother and grandmothers and how much they loved me. They too made lovely doll clothing for my dolls. We’re both lucky to have had them eh? And you were a beautiful bride. My thoughts are with you.

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      Isn’t wonderful what our moms and grandmothers have taught us so that we can then teach our children and grandchildren? I am glad you had loving grandmothers and mom to teach you sewing and life lessons. Thank you for your condolences and continued support, Joy. I always look forward to your comments.

      Reply
    1. Jayne Wourms

      Cindy what a year you have had so far! Bless you and yours. You’re mother was so beautiful. Sending loving thoughts your way and hope for brighter days ahead.

      Reply
  9. Regina

    Cindy I am very sorry for the loss of your Mother. I lost my Mom when I was 38, that was 20 years ago this year, and I will never stop missing her. My Mom didn’t sew, but she embroidered and crocheted and was always crafting something. I guess that is why I sew and craft too. The photos are so sweet of you and your Mother. Prayers for you and your family.

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      I am sorry you lost your mom when you were still so young, Regina. Time heals a bit, but doesn’t stop us from missing those we love so much. There are many days when I miss my grandma so much that it’s hard for me to believe it’s been almost a decade since I’ve seen her.

      I had my mom for a good number of years, we knew she was ill and suffering, and yet it is still hard to let her go. I am trying to be thankful for the years I had with her and all that she taught me. Thank you for your prayers for us during this difficult time.

      Reply
  10. Pennie

    A definite hard week! I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother! I lost my mom about 50 years ago…I still miss her too. I will be praying for you and your family!! Wonderful photos! I can see where you got your beauty, inside and out! Pennie

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      I am so sorry you lost your mom when you must have been so young, Pennie. How incredibly difficult that must have been for you. Thank you for your prayers and condolences during this difficult time. They are much appreciated.

      Reply
  11. Kathy Cassity

    I am so very, very sorry! My husband spent the last year fighting cancer but is “clear” now. I don’t think one is ever ready to lose their parents. Hugs, K.

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      I am very happy to hear that your husband has battled cancer and won, very good news indeed! I agree, no matter our age, we aren’t ready to let go of our parents. Thank you for your condolences, Kathy.

      Reply
  12. Jeanne @ I Dream of Jeanne Marie

    HI Cindy,
    I am so glad I checked your blog today but I am so very sorry for what I read. I can barely write as I’m crying for you. That picture of you on your wedding day with your mom is so beautiful and shows the closeness between you two. (Joy is right…you were a beautiful bride and your gravatar shows you are still beautiful.) Having just lost your dad 2 months ago and now your mom is almost unbearable, and I’m praying very hard that you’ll feel the presence of the Lord holding you in His arms. (He’s a good “holder!”)
    My dad died when I was 17, almost 44 years ago, and I still miss him.
    Oh, I’m just so sorry for you… there’s nothing quite like a good momma, is there? My mom is 81 and has been having some confusion problems and yesterday got lost driving, so my brother and sisters are going to have to make some hard decisions, soon, I think. Your post hit me pretty hard…
    I know I’m far away but I’m sending you a big hug… and a very tearful “I’m so sorry….”
    Love you Cindy,
    Blessings, Jeanne

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      Oh, Jeanne, I am hoping that your mom will be okay; maybe it is time for her to stop driving and that is all. Minor confusion at her age can be common and not mean anything huge is wrong. I will pray for her, and you all too. I am so sorry you’ve been without your dad for so, so long. I cannot even imagine how hard that was for you and your family.
      Thank you for your condolences and prayers; they help so much. Even though I miss both of my parents terribly, knowing that they are together and free from suffering helps me to get through this.

      Reply
  13. Susette

    I’m so sorry for the loss of both of your wonderful parents in the last few months. It is difficult at any time, but both in the same year . . . You are certainly the offspring of two very special people. Thinking of you and wishing I could give you hugs, Susette

    Reply
  14. Our Handmade House

    Cindy – You and you mother look like sisters in this photo! I was so lucky to marry into your family because I got 3 wonderful sisters and a mother-in-law who enhanced my life in many ways. Your mom was the most devoted woman to her family that I have ever know. I will always remember her devotion and caring ways. She was beautiful inside and out. Lots of Love to you Cindy, Heather

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      I think we were the lucky ones, Heather; my brother did good. I’ve often thought about how hard it must have been for you to marry into a family with all of these new sisters-in-law to deal with. You’ve definitely been a blessing to us all; can’t imagine you not being a part of our family. Thank you for your continued love and support to all of us during this impossibly hard time– don’t think we could have gotten through it without you. Sending you love, Heather! ❤

      Reply
      1. practice925

        That’s so touching Cindy. Creativity is such a blessing and I see it as a healing practice and a kind therapy. I hope your work will aide you in your healing process. ❤

  15. Donna Depner

    Lost my mom in 1987 and dad in 1989..I know the sorrow you are feeling. God is gracious and gives us strength when we least expect it. May He comfort you with peace and joy now and in the years to come. Beautiful pictures. I am happy you have great memories to carry you through. My prayers are with you and your family. You have my deepest sympathy. Your free sweater pattern was excellent and turned out beautifully. Accomplished it in one day but I love the extra details of embroidery you add to yours. Mine aren’t as fancy but look forward to making more of them.

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      Thank you for your condolences, Donna. God is helping me by working through all of you; each and every prayer lifts me up. It’s amazing! You’ve been without your parents a long time; I am sorry for your loss.
      On a happy note… thank you for knitting my pattern. You are a quick knitter! I can’t remember how long knitting the sweater took me, but I know it was longer that a day. Wow!

      Reply
  16. Dolly Corsi

    So sorry to hear of you loss. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman and brought back memories of my mother and a wonderful aunt who both taught me to sew for my dolls. You have my sympathy in the loss of both your parents.

    Dolly

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      Thank you so much, Dolly. Your condolences are much appreciated. I am happy that you had a mom and aunt to teach you sewing also. Where would we be without these wonderful and patient early teachers!

      Reply
  17. Sharon in Spain

    Cindy, I’m very saddened to hear that your dear mum lost her battle with cancer, it is indeed a terrible disease and causes so much pain to everyone that comes into ‘contact’ with it. I send you my love and big hugs from across the seas…will be thinking if you and sending you strength to deal with your loss. Xxxx

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      Your condolences help so much; thank you, Sharon. One day, I hope we can figure out how to cure this disease that causes so many families to suffer.
      I hope it is warm and springlike by you. Here, as in a lot of the US it is colder than normal. In fact, we have a light coating of snow on the ground.

      Reply
  18. Lisa

    Cindy, my condolences to you. You have had great losses this year, and my heart goes out to you. The photos of you and your mother are wonderful and it’s clear where you get your beauty.

    Both of my parents are gone; I lost my father when I was 16 (54 years ago). I keep both parents alive not only by remembering them in my mind and heart, but by telling my son stories about them and pointing out similarities between them and him – or his three year old son …. in this way he gets to know someone he never met and hopefully will pass forward the memories after I’m gone.

    I know you will treasure your memories.

    Reply
    1. Cindy Rice Post author

      Thank you so much for your condolences, Lisa. I am so sorry you lost your father so young, a tragedy that is. The way you keep both of your parents memories alive is truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

      Reply

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